Where is the line between humor and meanness?

My supervisor teases everyone. I hate it. He defends it as "Just Joking around" and "It raises morale". Well, it doesn’t. His jokes and one-liners always seem mean-spirited. I am not a "comedy" person so I wondered if I was being too sensitive, but I found out today that others are bothered by it too. A couple people who had quit in the past cited his "attitude" as part of their reason for leaving. He doesn’t cross the line into anything dirty or racist, but he will pick on people. The guys usually fight back by using the same sort of sarcastic "zingers" . The tone of our whole office is becoming very non-profesional, and I am dreading when the physical comedy (practical jokes) will start. I have talked to him in the past, and so he no longer targets ME but it still bothers me when all the chatter and banter is flying around.

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I’m looking for a long list of the funniest one-liners to say when someone says something like "guess what?" along the lines of…

The fifth dentist caved and now they’re all recommending Trident?
A stitch in time now only saves seven?
Some weebles actually do fall down?

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funny one liners…?

can anyone give me good one liners to tell at certain moments at a given time, for example

(weird al music is playing on the radio)
Me: does anyone have any benadryl
Person: why
Me: because im allergic to bad music…

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Please be original some 4 to 10 words one liners … i am gonna use it for my shirt for customize in my area will do it for me
(In 50 words or less) * Correction

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What is a good zinger to give to an exboyfriend?

So, to avoid typing a novel no one will read, I will sum up:

My boyfriend confessed to me that he was sleeping with a lot of other women before/during/after we had been dating. He said he couldn’t help it because women find him "beguiling" and he’s always been obsessed with his large "you know what i’m referring to".

I haven’t talked to him or seen him in a long time other than to request vie text that he pay me some money he owes me.

He texted me something this morning along the lines of "remember that last time we did the dirty and you were screaming out in extacy?" I texted back, "I don’t remember, so it must not have been that great."

I need some good one liners that will sting, if he ever texts me like that again. He’s always been very sure of himself and thinks that women find him irresistable and that he’s an all-star in the sack. I really just want to knock him down a peg or two, so he doesn’t use any more unsuspecting girls the way he used me.

Anyone?

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Sharkee Katz doing a set of stand-up comedy mostly one-liners at The Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA on May 27, 2010. More Sharkee www.SharkeeKatz.com

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where should I be looking?

Hi,

I am a 25 year old single male, sober, don’t smoke, love to be outside, love to drive, am a reader and I take my career quite seriously…

I want to find a lady who loves life, without all the drama, without the one liners….I’m in my mid twenties, enough with these games. Simply put, I think most of you are stunning and what about some kids, a couple dogs, couple cars, a four bedroom home? I’m gonna make up a story to swooze you, I’m just speaking from the heart.

I never get a smile, only dirty looks, so why even try?

There’s been two women in my life, my mother being one and the other one is done…so my philosophy on dating is that it ain’t any fun.

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The rain – rain – rain – on my face
In the rain – rain – to hide my pain – on my..
Hey I like to go out in the rain – rain – rain
On my face – in the rain – rain – to hide my pain – on my..
Hey I like to go out in the..

See I’m a single black male, dark hair, dark eyes
Long walks through a park and a lot of them lives
I’m a little bit shaded by a lot of what I see
So if you’re still interested you should come get at me
Cause I’m tired of getting shot down, put down and dissed
I wanna be picked up, held tight and kissed
But things like these don’t happen to dudes like me
Because I’m more Coldplay than I am Ice-T
They say that good girls love bad guys and that might be
But a bad girl with a good guy, that’s unlikely
So what’s a man to do to get to hold hands with you?
Do I talk **** and stand and look hard with my crew?
I don’t know what to do, so I drown in my drink
It helps to numb the pain, cause when I sit and think about it
Eyes get clouded, thoughts get crowded (thoughts get clouded)
So I’ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it
In the.. c’mon

Said she had a boyfriend, just trying to be nice
But I’ve heard the same lines from different women all night
Too easy let down, but don’t let it get you down
****, that’s what my boys told me, but end of the night
I was still sitting lonely, if only I could find ‘em
Without all the drama, without the one-liners
Excuse me miss, hey mam, you got a man, what’s ya name?
I’m in my mid-twenties so enough with the games
Simply put I think you’re stunning, and what about some kids?
A couple dogs, a couple cars, a four bedroom crib?
Look, I’m not trying to jib, I’m just speaking from the heart
But we can start with a drink if you wanna play it smart
She looking at my boy who got two kids at home and
I know how it goes, here’s his number telephone and
He does the girl’s turf, and I know you’re smelling on him
But every ***** needs a dog, so I guess that’s why you want him

I try to be settle, but even flirting got me shooked
I would never get a smile, all I got was dirty looks
And my self-esteem is low enough, I got teased growing up
And what I do, I beat ‘em up, but that only made me tough
It didn’t get me girls, or notes in class
Same girls who used to tell, when I would pinch their ***
But if another boy did it, then they would get gritty
So I pretended the handball was their face when I hit it
And I admit it’s part the reason why I’m do em like I do
And women in my life, there has only been two
My mother being one, and the other one is done
So my philosophy on dating is; ain’t no fun
Cause they come and they go, and even if they don’t ***
They still have to go, girl I give the best head
But you just wouldn’t know, cause you stuck up in some diddy
But even if you dissed me, I ain’t mad

Go on do that yo with yo pretty as..
You looked better coming..
No wait, you looked better going than you did coming
Her *** is amazing. High five for Jesus
Keep making ‘em like that
Just make ‘em with half a brain so maybe they’ll talk to me

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Mitt Romney’s One-Liners At Values Voter Summit

more at c-span.com September 17, 2010

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Bad Breath! Some Jobs are Only A Little Dirty

An old AVI file from back in the 90′s. Just throwing stuff on for now. Enjoy the simple gags.

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