FUNNY ONE LINERS PLEASE?
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 at
10:34 am
Comments (10)
like….
Take my advice-i dont use it anyway
Come to the dark side – we have cookies
ets
i mean quotes wtvr
Where is the best place to go to get good, funny one-liners?
Monday, July 12th, 2010 at
5:48 am
Does anyone have any funny Christmas one liners?
Saturday, July 10th, 2010 at
5:46 am
or jokes which are short.
Recommended Reading
Mike Stern – One Liners
Saturday, July 10th, 2010 at
12:59 am
Mike Stern on guitar, Jeff Andrews on Bass and Dave Weckl on Drums!
Recommended Reading
more funny one liners.?
Thursday, July 8th, 2010 at
10:34 am
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
Clones are people two.
Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I couldn’t care less about apathy.
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
Recommended Reading
funny one liners. lol?
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 at
5:53 am
Police Station toilet stolen….Cops have nothing to go on.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
. I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.
The meek shall inherit the earth…..after we’re through with it.
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
Ham and Eggs: A day’s work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
.Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
Sometimes too much to drink isn’t enough.
Jesus loves you! It’s everybody else that thinks you’re an ass.
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
Don’t get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It’s a lot easier on you.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Recommended Reading
Doctor Doctor… Funny.. One liners?
Sunday, July 4th, 2010 at
12:59 am
Doctor: "I’ve got very bad news. You’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s."
Patient: "Well, at least I don’t have cancer"
——————————————————————————–
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he’s a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don’t worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don’t want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.
——————————————————————————–
Bob to X-ray technician after swallowing some money:
"Do you see any change in me?"
——————————————————————————–
Nurse: Doctor, the man you’ve just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?
Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!
——————————————————————————–
Did you hear about the Siamese twins?
Everything goes in one ear and out the brother.
——————————————————————————–
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He’s fully recovered.
Recommended Reading
platoon One liners
Saturday, July 3rd, 2010 at
3:22 pm
all of my favorite lines from the greatest movie ever
Recommended Reading
More funny one-liners.. if you don't like them.. don't read them :p?
Thursday, July 1st, 2010 at
8:11 pm
1) Don’t be a sexist, broads hate that
2) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
3) As I said before, I never repeat myself.
4) I want patience… AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
5) Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing
6) Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One.
7) $ex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
9) Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
10) Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.
11) For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
12) Some people have a way with words, others not have way.
13) A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
14) Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
15) Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
16) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Recommended Reading
Anyone any have good dirty one liners?
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010 at
6:30 am
nothing that u can easily find on the internet, somethin rare or u just made up