this doesnt apply to just dating sites, buy myspace too and whatnot. people say, "oh there’s so many weridos online…and they could be married or an ex convict etc and people could lie about themselves too." but cant that happen in real life too? of course!

its funny…because i took the bus to my college the other month and saw these two guys in the same sweat clothes, so as we all got off the bus, i joked, "hey you guys twins?" we also got one the other bus and they seemed nice enough to chat with ya know. well after another 1 or 2 times of seeing them, i find out they had just been in jail, for like posession or something.

yet, back in 2005, i was on my collee forum on myspace and i met a guy on there who turned out to be my best friend for a yr…nicest, most honest guy you’ll ever meet.

back in 2004 i met a girl on line…few months of talking, we meet and it turned out to be a longterm 1 year relationship.

point is, you can meet weirdos, liars, ANYWHERE.

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Want In A Man
What I Want in a Man, Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

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I stumbled on a question that suggested that men should use violence against women to "keep them in line," and even tried to use the Bible to support his misogynistic position. Not only does this suggest that women deserve to be beaten, but that men are brutes who should use violence against half the human race.

None of the so-called "equalists" bothered to step in and say "That’s wrong," but one self-described anti-feminist defended this hateful post by suggesting that it was "just a joke," and that -some- women deserve to be beaten and violated. This same person has labeled others as angry and hateful. So, apparently, on men are capable of making jokes that should be taken as such. If a woman makes a joke about, say, someone’s penis size, she is angry and immature. A man who talks about how men should beat women to keep them in line is "joking."

Why are these double standards tolerated here? Why is misogyny "funny," but comments that are directed toward one person is misandry against all men?

The answer that I’m referring to is the 11th down the page.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiSSfbeQcxoj0naaG.ypnXfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090424074424AAphMoj

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At8MM5dsDC9U.6M_zNjd.vrsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090424082429AAVPsK4

Blah-Because it wasn’t up when I posted this? Obviously, it posted after I made this post, right? At least, that -should- be obvious.

Anyway, my point was about defending misogyny as a "joke," whereas comments that are directed at individuals are construed as "misandry," I guess you missed it.

Oh, and ______, I know you’re really desperate to finally get laid and all, but your charming attempt at wooing me just isn’t going to work. Sorry : (

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Is this the first movie this line has been used in, did he get it from another movie / or another character
or
Is this line one of Bruce Campbell’s "running jokes" that repeats in many of his feature movies, or is that the ONLY time he’s used that line?
Thank you,
T

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This is the error I’m getting "You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘id #2′ at line 1"

Below is the php/mysql code

<?php
// Creates connection with database
$link = mysql_connect("webdb","db","password");
if (!$link)
{
die(‘Could not connect: ‘ . mysql_error());
}
mysql_select_db("jokes", $link);
// the line below is where the issue is according to the error
$min_views = "SELECT min(views) FROM db.jokes";
$min = mysql_query($min_views) or die(mysql_error());
$query = "SELECT question, answer, id, views FROM db.jokes WHERE views = $min";
$result = mysql_query($query) or die(mysql_error());

$row = mysql_fetch_array($result) or die(mysql_error());
$question = $row['question'];
$answer = $row['answer'];
$id = $row['id'];
$update = "UPDATE db.jokes SET views = (views + 1) WHERE id = $id";
mysql_query($update) or die ("Error. Please refresh the page or click the home button <br />");
?>

The goal is to find the lowest value in the ‘views’ column and store it in variable $min

Then, find all rows where the view column = $min and pick a random one of those rows.

The code was working fine until I added in the twist involving finding the lowest view value before selecting the random row.

ALSO – what is a better site to post such a question.. something tells me there are better places to ask these type of questions as to not bore the 99% of the population to which this is all a foreign language.

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Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"
"I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord’s babies into the world."

"Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The same question is asked of the second doctor.

"I am a general practioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor." St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates.

The third doctor steps up in line and say.hey look "im dr phil".

i got money,im on t.v,i got better clothes than these guys,im famous,i got girls..im a celebrity..

after that he said in a very careless way "And yeah yeah i also help people"..

St.peters replied "well you sure can go to heaven" for the number of days equal to the number of hair you got on your head..

STAR!if you like..
i made this joke myself..worth a star?

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share your jokes!!!
i need some to laugh.
I like one line jokes.

"How do you get a big women into bed? Piece of cake lol."

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share your jokes!!!
i need some to laugh.
I like one line jokes.

"How do you get a big women into bed? Piece of cake lol."
dont know how it landed in this category but okay.

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Like this one time, I received some annoying chain letter about something scary or some ghosts under the bed will kill me if I don’t pass it on to others and the following that some scary chain letters has the "this is not a joke" line. What should I do with it even if some scary chain letters proved that this is not a joke or it’s a true story?

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