hilarious pick up lines Archives

Has it ever happened to you that someone makes a "funny" joke about you that everyone else thought was hilarious…. but it hurt you bad?

It happened to me. He meant it all in good fun. But I just can’t forget about it. It permanently lowered my self esteem.

What did they say to you?
to My Pooches: Ohhhh ……OUCH!!!!
My story:

I have always felt bad because my two younger sisters (let’s call them M and S) were prettier than me (let’s call me B). My dad, always a jokester, when sitting at the dinner table with the whole family, decided to say: "Yeah, M is drop-dead gorgeous. S is drop-dead cute. And B is… (long pause)…… smart."
Everyone thought it was hilarious……..

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Ladies: I have 3 questions about what these women were thinking at a dance club?
1) You walk around at a club minding your own business and a sexy, attractive woman who’s talking to three guys, makes quick eye contact with you while she’s talking to them, and this happens several times….

2) One time a girl I was in front of the line with was at the bar with me and she smiled and pointed and said "You were in line with me, weren’t you?" Was that a cue to start convo? Because I did, and introduced myself and asked her where she was from and if she came here alot. Then when she went to leave to go back to her friends I said "Mind if I call you?", then she said "My bf might mind." She was a sweetheart, and didn’t seem like the usual "ilk" that goes there, but do you think I was charming enough to her she’d say yes if she was single?

3) And finally, a woman did catch my eye that I talked to and chatted with. This was after I walked near her and she smiled towards me and asked her if I knew her from some place. I know women can pick up on that crap…..
2 days ago – 1 day left to answer.
Additional Details
2 days ago

and im not the "cheesy pick up line" type of guy, but I’ve said stuff like that as an excuse to break the ice. She kept smiling a little, but didn’t really get it, so I asked her where she was from and she stood there bewildered with this "I don’t understand English" smirk, shrugging her shoulders, when I knew she was American and she was from NJ. There was a guy near them and he glanced at me and I asked her "Is that your bf?" she smiled and said no, I saw the convo was going nowhere, I was kind of bombing, I got the vibe she wasn’t interested, so I took mental note and moved on. I smiled and said "It was nice meeting you" and she brushed my arm with her hand.

It’s ok if she wasn’t interested, it happens….but could i have done anything differently, or do you think it just wasn’t meant and do you credit me, 27 and still having lots of confidence to start convos with women?

Also, why was the guy looking at me?

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ARGH!!!! Why do "friends" do this?

Ok so I have a friend and lets call her Rose. We always fight. Its about the stupidest things sometimes, like she played a mean prank on this kid and I asked why she would do something so cruel? And she responded with "It was a joke don’t have a stick up your ‘butt’" And so I said "Well it wasn’t funny." Then she said "Well I thought it was pretty hilarious" Then I said "Wow I thought we were friends" She said "We are but you need to learn how to take a joke." I said "That was no joke that was you just being mean." Rose said "Get a life" I said "Fine delete my number" "That’s fine with me" Then later she texts me and says "Oh and you can get your own ‘freaking’ ride." "Uh no, my dad is paying your family to drive me so just ‘freaking’ deal with it" Then at lunch I was hanging out with all of our friends (I did not tell them not to hang out with Rose I actually encouraged that they should still hang out with her) and she texts me and says "Go find your own friends all of your friends were mine first." And for the record, most of them I was friends with first (not like it matters but still) but the ones she met first can’t even stand her. So my friend Allie took my phone and rebuked her in the name of God. (She’s super christian) and she texts back and it just gets progressively worse. But now we made up and I feel like she still has zero respect for me or anyone for that matter. She doesn’t even care enough to work towards our friendship, its always me trying to patch things up. So if she doesn’t do her 50 then why should I? So I haven’t talked to her all summer. And now she is going behind my back calling me names and becoming friends with all the people who hate me. What should I do? I don’t want to become friends with her all over again but I do want things to simmer down. Any suggestions?
Well she’s Italian and you really shouldn’t do face-to-face with a hot-headed italian. And the prank was also on me so I wasn’t sticking up for random people either.

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What age group do you love working with the most?

I am definitely a person that’s good with children. I especially love helping out with the 18-24 month kids. I’ve worked with all age groups, and find that these kids aren’t as "Let’s play tea party! Draw me a picture!!!" as 3 or 4 year olds. They still require a lot of special attention, but you can just get out a ball and they’ll play with it for an hour. =) I also love the 5 year olds because they aren’t as "needy" as the other children. Yeah, you’ll have to tie a shoe every now and then but they’re pretty independent and hilarious!

Anyway, what age group do YOU prefer working with? I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions!

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Ladies: I have 3 questions about what these women were thinking at a dance club?
1) You walk around at a club minding your own business and a sexy, attractive woman who’s talking to three guys, makes quick eye contact with you while she’s talking to them, and this happens several times….

2) One time a girl I was in front of the line with was at the bar with me and she smiled and pointed and said "You were in line with me, weren’t you?" Was that a cue to start convo? Because I did, and introduced myself and asked her where she was from and if she came here alot. Then when she went to leave to go back to her friends I said "Mind if I call you?", then she said "My bf might mind." She was a sweetheart, and didn’t seem like the usual "ilk" that goes there, but do you think I was charming enough to her she’d say yes if she was single?

3) And finally, a woman did catch my eye that I talked to and chatted with. This was after I walked near her and she smiled towards me and asked her if I knew her from some place. I know women can pick up on that crap…..
3 days ago
Additional Details
3 days ago

and im not the "cheesy pick up line" type of guy, but I’ve said stuff like that as an excuse to break the ice. She kept smiling a little, but didn’t really get it, so I asked her where she was from and she stood there bewildered with this "I don’t understand English" smirk, shrugging her shoulders, when I knew she was American and she was from NJ. There was a guy near them and he glanced at me and I asked her "Is that your bf?" she smiled and said no, I saw the convo was going nowhere, I was kind of bombing, I got the vibe she wasn’t interested, so I took mental note and moved on. I smiled and said "It was nice meeting you" and she brushed my arm with her hand.

It’s ok if she wasn’t interested, it happens….but could i have done anything differently, or do you think it just wasn’t meant and do you credit me, 27 and still having lots of confidence to start convos with women?

Also, why was the guy looking at me?
Cheryl V,

Why would I buy any of these girls a drink? First off, the ones I were talking about (all 2 of them) were on my way leaving the place, the second girl had a bf, and I didn’t even think of it, and 3)the last girl acted as if she was being hit on by Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. She seemed uncomfortable so I moved on. It was the right thing to do. You women also make it EXTREMELY difficult for us men, more than you know.

Besides, I read that buying a woman a drink gives the women more control because they know you’re trying to date them,.

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story jokes" long ones" or a lot of jokes. I really like blonde ones. please only put in clean jokes thanku
ok just put in jokes.
id tell u a joke but i dont know any this is why im asking for some to tell my colledge class evry. friday is joke day.
p.s. im a red head well sorta blonde but its ok i dont mind.

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I hate to use the term "pick up". It’s so cheesy…but whatever.

Anyway, I was at a bar friday night with a few friends. Not getting hammered or anything. Just having a few. Anyway, I notice across the way there is the most beautiful woman I think I have ever seen. I came up with some BS and walked over to talk to her. It went well enough. But I decided it wouldn’t be beneficial to keep on talking to her so I went back to my friends,

Anyway…when we were leaving, she walked by and put her arm on my back and said "nice to meet you" and I in turn said "hey wait a minute. can we try this over again one day? Do you ever feel like sometimes you meet people at the wrong time and perhaps if given a better opportunity it could change your life?" she said yes and took my business card.

Anyway, she has since called me. But I"m wondering what everyone else thinks of that "line". But I was being honest.

Also…is giving out business cards cheesy?

Thanks!

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Did anyone else who watched SummerSlam notice…?

that the Rick Achberger a.k.a. the WWE Sign Guy was there? (If you don’t know who I’m talking about, he’s a guy who goes to tons of WWE events each year carrying hilarious signs and he always wears the same outfit – a red cap and a blue shirt.) Besides Triple H and Rey Mysterio returning, and of course Stone Cold Steve Austin showing up, I thought him being there was one of the highlights of SummerSlam. During the boring matches (can you say Khali and Batista?), I actually looked for his signs instead of watching the match. Some of the funny signs he had last night were:

"Pathetic Hispanic" next to Chavo’s picture
"Clown With A Crown" next to King Booker’s picture
"Triple H’s surgeon. You’re welcome" with an arrow pointing to himself. (He also wore a surgical mask over his mouth so I thought that was hilarious).
"Carlito’s Embarrassed Brother" with an arrow pointing to himself, while he wore a paper bag over his head.

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How do I get my friends to…?

STOP TELLING ME DUMB JOKES?
My friends seem to think these so called "inside jokes" are hilarious– I’m not laughing!
These are just a few:

My friend found online = Whats fish without the I? Fssssshhh.
Now they’re always going around saying "Fssssshh". "Can I get some fsssssssshhh?"

"Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. If Pete fell off, then who was left?"

Some weird joke that had something to do with some pimp who called his girls "crackers", and when he left them in a room with someone else he would always say "Don’t eat my crackers" and now they keep going around saying
"DON’T EAT MY CRACKAZZZ, DUGG"

There are sooo many more and it’s soooo annoying.
How do I get them to stfu?
I tell them to be quiet all the time, and they still won’t! None of their jokes make sense! If I say "be quiet" they say "DON’T EAT MY CRACKAZZ" "THIS BETTUR BE A NESQUIKKIE"
I want to hurt them! They never shut UP!!!

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Help! is this going somewhere?

ok, so there is this guy i like that is only a year younger than me, but i think he likes me and i think i like him. he "steals" my cell phone so i have to literally chase him to get it back, he shows off a lot(it works :) he plays the violin, with me at school) he might volunteer at a summer camp like program to help with young violinists that my teacher is creating at our school, and when i asked him if he wanted to too, and mentioned off hand kinda that i was going to too, he said sure. and he is just super nice to me most of the time, and we are pretty much super comfortable talking to each other about a lot of stuff. wow, now that i reread that, i think we might have something. is this where relationships start and should i talk to him about it and ask him. if i should, what should i say, and NO CHEESY "PICK UP LINES!" should i have a heart to heart conversation, or would that scare him? i only have like 7 more days of school, so not a lot of time to figure it out. HELP PLEASE!!
ok, i don’t think i explained clearly enough about what’s going on. i guess its kinda like we are friends, but i think i want to be more than that. i think he knows i don’t have a boyfriend and all that stuff. all he really knows is what i tell him, and that hasn’t been a lot really because we are kinda friends, but he doesn’t like to talk about that kinda stuff, he’s more in the moment. like when he takes my cell, he’s like you are a slow runner and all that stuff. he complains about me and says i’m weird and everything, and yet he still hangs out with me and it’s not weird to talk to him about stuff anymore. we talk about teachers and we were working on something for the talent show with one of my other friends and that’s how we really got connected. we also went on a trip with the school and i think he flirted with me a lot. he let me wear his hat and said i looked good. this is a kinda stupid question to ask, but i just want to know. does all that mean he likes me? sorry. curious.

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