Archive for August, 2010

Canoeing like you’ve never seen before. Even the swimmer in the water is cracking up. :o ) Some good one liners too: Brian bending his knees in the canoe: “I look like a cork in a bottle, Pete. This is ridiculous” and my favourite one… Brian rocking the canoe like mad: “I’m trying to keep my balance” (ha ha, ‘keep my balance’. It looks like you’re trying to create a tsunami of your own with all that shaking you’re doing, Brian. hahaha) *Note*: This clip is from ‘A Place in Greece: Year 2′. Please leave a comment/rating if you like it to show Tiger Aspect (the production company) that we want a Series 3! Thank you please. :) You can also join the discussion at: www.digitalspy.co.uk

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I’m writing the first chapter of my story. It starts off with my main character Kim instant messaging her boyfriend Benjamin. Kim is breaking up with Benjamin. I need hilarious break up phrases, quotes, lines, or a dialogue. I want it to be really funny but harsh and mean at the same time because Kim is very cruel, narcissistic, and sarcastic.

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answer: They aren’t falling for that one again….

Are they talking about sailing over from Africa? If so, dumbest joke ever -_-
Well, thanks for clarifying. Except number one, I think they misunderstood, derr

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mike.culotta@cbsradio.com info@broadcastarchitecture.com Since when did the word “Jazz” become one of radio’s “Seven Dirty Words”? No one has talked about this on Radio-Info.com, but Tampa’s WSJT 98.7 (CBS) is no longer calling themselves “Smooth Jazz 98.7″. They’ve taken the “Jazz” part out of the branding and they’re calling themselves “The New Smooth 98.7″. The new name definitely fits the music that they’ve been playing recently. It definitely without a doubt sounds a lot like Broadcast Architecture new “Chillout Radio” format that plays “Music that Feels Good”… …except the format now is not called Chillout Radio anymore. They decided to rebrand the station as “The Bright Radio Network” with the same “Music That Feels Good” slogan. Aside from that, there aren’t that many differences between it and the BA Smooth Jazz Network. I did however, find out that the Smooth Jazz Network’s new tagline is no longer “The Smoothest Place on the Radio” but rather, “The Smoothest Place on the Planet. They’re not even identifying themselves as a Radio station anymore which could suggest that they are about to put more emphasis on the Bright Radio Network. BRN has its first affiliate. KOCD “CD 103.7″ in Tulsa-Oklahoma City has fallen for BA’s bear trap and I fully expect others to do the same. The SJN DJs such as Maria Lopez, Miranda Wilson, and Tim Garrison are now doing double duty with both the Smooth Jazz Network AND the Bright Radio Network. Now that won’t last for long, but

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*Thoughts from 25-35 year olds* (No I did not write, these but I find them very comical !)

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

2. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

3. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

4. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

5. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

6. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

7. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and I instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

8. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

9. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

12. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

13. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

14. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

15. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Which one is your favorite? I think mine are 7 and 12 !

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My favorite quote is the episode when Lisa becomes class President and later resigns because the school doesn’t provide music, gym, and arts and when Principle Skinner says to Homer and Marge if they want to pay a .23 in taxes to fund the programs, Homer says "No Way, I’m Buying A Speedboat!"

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Nostalgia Critic – Junior (Part 2)

I Am Not Nostalgia Critic!!! Not Made By Me!!! Full Credit To: www.thatguywiththeglasses.com

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This is the error I’m getting "You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘id #2′ at line 1"

Below is the php/mysql code

<?php
// Creates connection with database
$link = mysql_connect("webdb","db","password");
if (!$link)
{
die(‘Could not connect: ‘ . mysql_error());
}
mysql_select_db("jokes", $link);
// the line below is where the issue is according to the error
$min_views = "SELECT min(views) FROM db.jokes";
$min = mysql_query($min_views) or die(mysql_error());
$query = "SELECT question, answer, id, views FROM db.jokes WHERE views = $min";
$result = mysql_query($query) or die(mysql_error());

$row = mysql_fetch_array($result) or die(mysql_error());
$question = $row['question'];
$answer = $row['answer'];
$id = $row['id'];
$update = "UPDATE db.jokes SET views = (views + 1) WHERE id = $id";
mysql_query($update) or die ("Error. Please refresh the page or click the home button <br />");
?>

The goal is to find the lowest value in the ‘views’ column and store it in variable $min

Then, find all rows where the view column = $min and pick a random one of those rows.

The code was working fine until I added in the twist involving finding the lowest view value before selecting the random row.

ALSO – what is a better site to post such a question.. something tells me there are better places to ask these type of questions as to not bore the 99% of the population to which this is all a foreign language.

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South Park’s Funniest Quotes

A compilation of funny quotes from the greatest show on earth, “South Park”

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