Your Online Source For Hilarious One Liners, Funny One Liners, One Liners, Jokes
A series of hilarious jokes that will have you laughing like a goof! dressed up to be funnier then they really are these silly one liners will make a great addition to your lame collection! brace yourself for some serious entertainment! Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com
One of the dopest tracks on Murs’ classic album “3:16 the 9th edition!” LYRICS: [Verse 1] See I’m a single black male, dark hair, dark eyes Long walks through a park and a lot of them lives I’m a little bit shaded by a lot of what I see So if you’re still interested you should come get at me Cause I’m tired of getting shot down, put down and dissed I wanna be picked up, held tight and kissed But things like these don’t happen to dudes like me Because I’m more Coldplay than I am Ice-T They say that good girls love bad guys and that might be But a bad girl with a good guy, that’s unlikely So what’s a man to do to get to hold hands with you? Do I talk shit and stand and look hard with my crew? I don’t know what to do, so I drown in my drink It helps to numb the pain, cause when I sit and think about it Eyes get clouded, thoughts get crowded (thoughts get clouded) So I’ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it In the.. c’mon [Verse 2] Said she had a boyfriend, just trying to be nice But I’ve heard the same lines from different women all night Too easy let down, but don’t let it get you down Shit, that’s what my boys told me, but end of the night I was still sitting lonely, if only I could find ‘em Without all the drama, without the one-liners Excuse me miss, hey mam, you got a man, what’s ya name? I’m in my mid-twenties so enough with the games Simply put I think you’re stunning, and what about some kids? A couple dogs, a couple cars, a four bedroom crib? Look, I’m not …
I’ve known this girl for just under a week now, very short I know. She lives quite far away from me, within driving distance but not in my city, put it that way. I’ve not actually met her yet, but we have corresponded through MSN, facebook, mobile phone and webcam. Now, in this short time space, we have got to know each other very well, and we’ve flirted, or at least playful joked with each other. I can’t meet with this person until the summer holidays come, but from what I understood, if she liked me and I like her as much as we like each other now, then I hope a relationship could possibly form once we know each other well enough.
Now, the problem is, talking to her tonight she was slightly different – less flirty and reluctant to go on webcam. I couldn’t understand why, but shortly before she had to go she revealed to be that she was possibly going to be dating a guy that she has known for almost 3 years. Her and this other guy had gone out before, but it didn’t work out, but she told me she’s in love with him and wants to give him another try. Now the reason why this is painful to hear is because this girl meant all the world to me even for the short time I have known her for, the most hilarious, understanding, caring and fun character to be with. I really did see a possible future with this person in a relationship.
She was reluctant to tell me because she loves the way I am, and she was worried that she would affect how I behave around her, which is true because sadly it will and to be quite brutally honest, I wish she had of never told me. I was incredibly happy around the time I knew her, and now I just feel slightly depressed. Why? I can’t understand. I won’t meet her for at least one month, and the fact she lives so far away, I’d like to become best friends with her first, so if even if it did turn out we liked each other, it would be 6-12 months I imagine before I’d even consider making a move. I should be happy for her, which I am, but also disheartened inside. The worst thing about it is she acts like its all over between us, I quote:
Me: I mean to be quite honest with you, it kind of feels awkward talking about this –> but i mean I wasn’t really sure when your joking is "joking" or you really mean it sometimes…and I really wasn’t sure about the whole relationship thing…I mean like would we just meet and be good friends or could anything actually of happened? sorry to be blunt and presuming lol but I take a futuristic approach.
Her: I’m so sorry, you put the possibilites and i ended it for you :/
Me: So there is no chance? How can you say that we haven’t met yet! :L
Her: There is a chance, we’ll just have to see what happens. But let me love the person I love first and if he doesnt love back then..;-)
This is the end of the dialogue. Sorry for such a long story, I really would like your opinion on the situation and any feedback would be appreciated.
Were both 15 if that clears anything up.
—> 10 POINTS being award in 5 hours <—
Yesterday on one of the episodes of America’s Next Top Model, the hopefuls shot commercials for Secret deodorant in which they had to say the line, "What’s my secret?" — and then fill in something! My favorite was "I LOVE men’s underwear!"
My husband had a ball for hours entertaining ourselves with this question. We decided what our answers would be and made up secrets to reveal for each other, for our kids and family members. We found out we were pretty darned hilarious! Most of the lines the models came up with were lame. So…
So WHAT’S YOUR SECRET? Please share here! Nothing gross, please! Keep it G!
Some of our secrets:
"My food is my food. Your food is also my food." –Evan, almost 2
"ALL ZITS MUST DIE. I am their executioner!" –my husband
"I pick other peoples’ noses."–me
"I only look out of one eye when I’m tired." –me
"And the FAN blah blah blah FAN blabber TURBINES chitter chatter FAN blah PLANE
motor mouth FAN FAN FAN…" –Grady, almost 5
nothing that u can easily find on the internet, somethin rare or u just made up
Frankie Boyle’s most offensive (and hilarious) jokes. Sorry about the bad picture quality
These are amazing, hilarious quotes from all of the characters of the Twilight series! ENJOY!!! 
Peace.Love.Edward
A clip of Spiderman from the game Marvel Ultimate Alliance. He will probably be one of the quickest yet stylish fighting chracters in the game. Did I mention to say acrobatic?
So basically it’s a twist on Little Red. The grandma is jealous of little red because they both like the lumberjack, and accidentally kills her. Her husband is jealous of her crush. so attempts to kill the lumber jack, but fails. The wolf and lumberjack are about to take them to jail, and the daughter (little reds mom) needs to say a pun to end it. I NEED HELP PLEASE !
